This is a topic that is very personal to me because, as an adult, I discovered that my sister, Ashley, engaged in decades of selfish, greedy, abusive, manipulative, and attention-seeking narcissistic behavior through therapy and my own personal growth work. Although there was some little sexual assault involved, I feel the most long-term harm was caused by more covert, manipulative, and emotionally abusive approaches.

Silky Terrier Dog Breed Playing Aro... Silky Terrier Dog Breed Playing Around

For decades, her behavior was a major factor in my lack of confidence. The abuse of a narcissistic sibling, like that of emotionally neglectful parents, isn’t often visible. When a relationship is supposed to be loving, warm, and supporting, but instead becomes domineering, cold, aloof, and non-reciprocal, it causes harm, even if it’s difficult to pinpoint. The sufferer is additionally confused and destabilized by the lack of love in an otherwise intimate familial bond. Victims learn to expect deception and an agenda from their siblings instead of consolation. Narcs are notorious for exploiting a victim’s weaknesses over a long period of time. This was done in my family through “humor” — sarcasm and sardonic taunting that may be misconstrued as a joke but was actually quite unpleasant, especially when done repeatedly. Ashely appeared to be a decent person to strangers.

Her outward kindness, care, and selflessness, on the other hand, were ruses to make her appear nice, gain favor, and hide her actual nature. You will regret challenging Ashley, as I learned the hard way over many decades. My mother used to marvel at how two children raised in the same household and separated by only 16 months could grow up to have such disparate morals and personalities. For a long of my life, I was shy and afraid, despite the fact that my true nature is extraverted, confident, and gregarious. Because of Ashely’s gaslighting, I was anxious and self-doubting, which limited my job and social options.