Do you feel compelled to flee when your spouse disagrees with you or complains?

Silky Terrier Dog Breed Playing Aro... Silky Terrier Dog Breed Playing Around

Do you ever feel like you and your partner can’t seem to work things out?

If that’s the case, you’re not alone. Many individuals struggle with confrontation and may go to great lengths to avoid it.

Sandy thought she’d never been able to persuade Jim to sit down and speak through an issue with her. He would avoid discussions with her if she disagreed with him. Never in a million years would she want to speak about their connection!

Ellen was raised in a household where there was a lot of bickering. She would weep and get extremely agitated if Bill raised his voice, or she believed he raised his voice. Bill was irritated because he believed they could never get to the bottom of any issues and make choices.

While fighting is never beneficial for a relationship, never talking things out and settling disagreements is also bad. When couples fail to settle conflicts, or when one or both of them have a conflict-avoidant personality, they are more prone to become estranged from one another as they are irritated, wounded, and disappointed.

Men are more inclined than women to run away from conflict; yet, many women are also bombarded with conflict and struggle to stay cool and productive in tough discussions.

Some individuals express their unwillingness to address a problem by saying things like, “You are being unreasonable, and I refuse to speak with you about this,” or “We never get anywhere when we fight, and I am not going to talk anymore.”

Other individuals may physically leave the room or emotionally exit the discussion, indicating that it is one-sided. Others may agree at the moment but subsequently, behave in the exact opposite manner. Avoiding a long back-and-forth discussion does not imply that you are “buying in” to a choice.

Those with a conflict-avoidant personality must also learn to soothe themselves when they feel overwhelmed. In my previous blog post, “Discover Ways to Stay Calm and Remain In Difficult Discussions,” I discussed some of these methods. When you’re swamped and your personality prefers to avoid confrontation, those same techniques will work.